- pink slime “Yes, LFTB because our beef now has so many hormones it’s a member of the transgendered community.” (“So I just want to get out in front of this and say that I, Stephen Colbert, apologize to any of my transgender bovine viewers that may have been offended.”)
- “That’s why, fellas, always look for the adams apple! That’s a pro tip. Then, look for the adam’s penis”
- “Nation, President Elect, Obama is meeting every day with his transition team, or in beltway lingo, ‘tr***ies’.”
- “But these days, chewing gum is as supple and flamboyant as a Saigon Ladyboy.”
- “Oh, and the next time you’re waltzing with Matilda, you might wanna check out her adam’s apple, ‘cause she’s a dude!”
- “I’m not talking tasteful private ceremonies, I’m talking parades with floats, throbbing disco music, and sh*m**es tying the knot on preschool playgrounds!”
- “Now, I already an advance copy of the Deathly Hallows and Spoiler alert: Hermione’s a dude…”
- “If you ask me, we can’t trust any of these tr***ies.”
- “You see, I didn’t come here to criticize anyone. I came here to praise one man, one Her-man. Important note: a her-man is not the same as a sh*m**e.”
- “Gee, I wonder how a man called “Hilary” became so obsessed with names… …but, what would this limey sh*m**e have us call the war on terror instead?”
- “I believe that “the Man” is keeping the California republicans down. And, being from California, “the Man” is probably a tr***y.”
- “So, was this just a simple case of a panda that was a female and all along was misidentified due to the breed’s ambiguous sexual characteristics, or is the simpler answer that we’ve got a tr***y panda? Now, I never thought I’d give advice to bears, but here you go. Chinese pandas, here’s how you can tell the difference: if you show up to your breeding pen and your lady’s got a an adam’s apple and big paws, get the hell out of there!”
- “Left to their own devices, these brave young souls could fall prey to some very dangerous characters…” cuts to clips of Sex and the City “…by which I mean tr***ies.”
- “Now, we’ve all been fooled by these tr***y reptiles before…You’re out in the desert with a few friends having a few drinks. You see a lizard sunning itself on a rock. You go over to strike up a conversation. The lizards plays it cool, doesn’t respond. So you drink more to fill the awkward pauses. Next thing you know, you’re back at her place and suddenly you realize what you’re caressing isn’t a cloaca, it’s an enlarged femoral pore! And you just get the hell out of there! Or so I have read.”
- “C’mon democratic party. Play along! If your party does not implode, we’ll have to go with our backup scandal. Ed Rendell is a tr***y!” (screen shows photoshopped image of Ed Rendell) “Hello! I thought we were going to put up a picture of Ed Rendell, not this lovely lady right here.”
- “To get this protection these fair-weather-females and fence-sitting-fellas will have to identify themselves. They will no longer shock and confuse young reporters on assignment in a new town who happen to appreciate ladies with big hands.”
- “Oh, you mean the place of Queens…I thought maybe you were gonna reveal something! that perhaps we had a sh*m**e on our hands, here.”
- This tweet
- “But, here’s my biggest problem: this race was for female leatherback turtles. What kind of girl’s name is Billy? Ok. Know what I think, folks? Billy is a dude! A turtle tr***y! You can tell by the size of the flippers. And the adam’s apple. Trust me, I’ve been burned too many times. Evidently, I am not alone. They are a menace! Here’s my theory. While Stephanie and all of the other real gals were actually laying eggs on the beach in their nests, Billy fooled the judges by popping ping-ping balls out of his behind. And now he wants a trophy! Well, your little crying game is up, William! No no no, I demand that race officials verify the sex of this turtle, by checking the concavity of its plastron! Oh yeah, I’ve done my research. I do the same thing to all of my dates. And if that plastron is not concave, I am out of there.”
- Colbert: Is there a difference between male-bodied and male, or female-bodied and female?
Ketchup: Not all people with female bodies identify as women.
Colbert: So, if I meet somebody down there who says they’re a woman—
Ketchup: mmmhmm
Colbert: —I could be in for a rude surprise? Because they may not be female-bodied?
- Colbert: Like What? What? What kind of jobs?
- Cartwright: Like transient farm working jobs.
Colbert: I don’t care what sex they are, as long as the pick my vegetables.
I could use a sanity check...
Hi. I'm Taylor and I like butts.
RAVENCLAW
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BISEXUAL
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Film/PoliSci student. 21. Bi. New York. Nerdfighter. All-around badass.
OBSESSIONS: Harry Potter, Mass Effect, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Old Hollywood, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Once Upon A Time, Doctor Who, Sailor Moon, The Hunger Games, Star Wars, Repo! The Genetic Opera
Mass Effect RP Blog ~ The Stuff Noir Is Made Of ~ Little Snarry Things ~ Mass Effect Pick Up Lines
DISCLAIMER: This blog is feminist, pro-LGBTQ, pro-choice, anti-religion, and liberal as fuck. Fandoms and politics share a place here.
*My OTPs*
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Everyone is missing the biggest problem here.
Fuck the ads. Fuck the links. Fuck the email stuff.
Yahoo explicitly forbids pornography and sexually suggestive material on their websites and all affiliates.
That means no more porn on Tumblr.
Happy Birthday Tay-Tay! by ~mandyalenko
Little birthday gift for my awesome wifey, theprettynerdie
You are an amazing friend! There are not enough words to express how much I love you and really value your friendship. You have been my rock through some really hard times. You are so loving and caring and you always lift my spirits even when i’m having a hard time, like right now. I am so very blessed to have you in my life and I can’t wait to fly across the pond and give you a big BIG cuddle and say thank you face to face.
I love you, wifey
How do I even begin to respond to this, seriously? Less than 3 months and we will actually be seeing each other!!!!!
Thank you so so much. You’ve been such a source of support for the past few months. I am so lucky to have you!!!!
"At that point, the police officer fires several rounds. Seven of those rounds struck our subject; one of those rounds struck the victim."
—
Nassau County, NY Detective Lt. John Azzata • Describing the shooting of a victim in a home invasion and hostage situation near Hofstra University, a shooting which led to the deaths of both the suspect, Dalton Smith, and of Andrea Rebello, whose home was broken into by Smith on Friday morning. The circumstances of the shooting, particularly how an Rebello was killed by an officer’s hands and the circumstances under which the recently-paroled Smith was being monitored, are still under an investigation. (via shortformblog)
This is kind of a big deal. I go to Hofstra, and I had class with Andrea in my second semester there. The story made the front page of the NY Post two days in a row. This is just horrifying.
commanderpegperd asked: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUN! Hope you have a great day. *smooshes your face* ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Thank you!!! *smooshes back* <333
Spending my birthday sewing plushies, then going to the mall and spending bday money on Lush.
Also woke up to the best best card from my girlfriend, and bday wishes from Claire, Mandy, and Mercy.
22 feels very weird.
commander, admiral hackett has got an urgent matter; patching him through vid-com
“I think Conrad Verner is a contract agent for the Council, a ‘secret shopper’ they use to evaluate and assess Spectre operatives in low-risk but aggravating civilian scenarios. It’s why he’s always getting into trouble around Shepard, and why he knew about the Crucible project. I’m on to you, Conrad.”
THE REAL LIFE OF CONRAD VERNER
Shepard never expected to wake up again. Never expected to see the stars. The pain was to be expected, because pain was as fundamental to life as oxygen and blood, at least these days. And breathing was akin to feeling bone-tired. If you were alive, you were exhausted. Being exhausted was being alive.
But Shepard did. Shepard woke up again. Shepard’s eyes were sticky but working and sunlight slanted through, beautiful, blinding. The same stuff that hurt you made you whole.
It was going to be Garrus. Pulling aside a broken stanchion, smiling because he thought Shepard would be too delirious with blood loss to see the expression.
It was going to be Liara, who always believed. Who saw the worst history had to offer but managed, somehow, to trust the best the future might one day be.
It was going to be Kaidan. His hair would finally be a mess and his eyes would be wild and he’d be mad as hell about being left behind again, but there’d be gratitude first, and it’d be incredible.
It was going to be James. Big baby James. More than he even knew he was James. The whole reason why Shepard fought so hard to begin with James. ‘You look like hell,’ he’d say.
It was going to be Tali. She’d gasp inside her mask and the sound would work like an electric pulse straight to the heart, waking Shepard up again. ‘I shouldn’t be surprised,’ she’d say.
It was going to be Miranda. Because Miranda was always there to save Shepard. It was their way of showing affection, despite being more than half bad at it any other time of day.
It was going to be Grunt. Big baby Grunt. Raised you myself Grunt. Holding two giant slabs of concrete, one in each hand, shouting ‘Shepard!’ until Shepard’s ears bled.
‘Shepard!’ Conrad Verner said.
He was wearing N7 armor. N7 armor that fit him. N7 armor that belonged to him, sun haloing his hair. The grin on his face was real, but it wasn’t goofy.
‘No autographs right now, Conrad,’ Shepard said.
It was Conrad Verner. Picking Shepard up, carrying Shepard home. Knowing Shepard better than anybody else. Showing Shepard his orders after Shepard woke up, tubes and electrodes and medi-gel everywhere.
‘You passed every test I gave you, you know,’ Conrad said. ‘Even at my worst. The best humanity had to offer. You saved my life—and you gave me hope. So I just figured that was a kindness I really ought to repay.’
NEW HEADCANON AND MIND BLOWN
Songs that didn’t make it into Les Miserables
I Knew You Were Trouble
[TW: CISSEXISM, TRANSMISOGYNY INCLUDING TRANSMISOGYNISTIC SLURS]
- on
there’s characters you love
and then there’s your babies
I KNOW
:)
SURPRISE!
A collaborative surprise effort, to go along with the theme of the piece, between myself and Jo, who did the arts.
Because it is Thursday and wifey should have a Thursday surprise.
WHAT. YOU GUYS I CANT. I HAVE RUN OUT OF CAN. WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE WITH RAINBOWS WHAT IS GOING ON
*GROSS UGLY SOBBING* I MIGHT TACKLE HUG MY COMPUTER
idontdeserveyoubeautifulpeople
#I CANT STOP SCREECHING #MY BAAAAAABIES #ssv asshole
because you’re the best wifey ever and you being happy is a birthday present I gave myself?
for real though. Best. Reaction. EVER. <333
