Obama’s one-liners during his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
To the girls who didn’t hafta go away to $$ private liberal arts colleges n major in women’s studies to learn how to be gay.
The ones whose first, precious exposure to “lesbian media” was T Pain’s “my girl got a girlfriend” or some bootleg “girl on girl” porn your friend’s brother had; not Tegan and Sara or Ani DiFranco.
…and the ones who secretly looved Tegan and Sara or Ani DiFranco, but u couldn’t tell anyone bc all yr friends would laugh at you n yr white person music.
To the lesbians cruising at the PA office, the McDonalds, the hair salons, at their shitty jobs just to pass the time, at the free clinic.
The girls who can lift their lovers up and fuck them against the wall because of the arm strength they have from their job lifting boxes 12 hrs/day at the supermarket.
…and the dykes who can’t lift shit or really work at all, but poor people are supposed to be “tough” n no one has access to health care anyway, so every1 tells you yr not disabled and just need to suck it up.
The girls whose first time with another woman was courtesy of Henny, Cirac, E&J (that u called easy jesus) Steel Reserve, or really cheap vodka mixed with an Arizona Iced Tea can.
The dykes forced to secretly go to the one shitty lesbian bar in the “rich-trendy-gay” part of town, n then having to change back into their less slutty/more feminine/male drag clothes on the ride home to their conservative parents.
…n the ones who couldn’t even maintain their queerness as a secret for 1 minute, so the whole block talks shit about them n they end up having to beat sum guy’s ass in the Taco Bell.
The dykes whose hood friends made up mean, politically incorrect, but “affectionate” n clever-as-hell nicknames for them based on their skin tone, body size, transness, disability…u know the ones. Ones that stung like hell at the time, but that u came to miss once u moved into a BS “polite society” terrified to even acknowledge difference.
The girls torn between strong ideological hatred for the military and strong lust for all the hot dykes from their block who joined the army to pay for school n look so damn fine in their uniforms.
The dykey young mothers who left their baby daddies to hook up with each other.
The girls who stay feeling awful at their minimum wage jobs bc their bosses won’t ever let them dress/present how they need to, ranging from huge things (gender presentation, ethnic heritage things) right down to every tiny detail—“this is Burger King—no green hair, visible tattoos, skirts, nail polish, or earrings larger than a quarter allowed!!”
The ones secretly afraid no one will ever love them bc all the internalized shit they’ve been carrying since the day they first heard the words “welfare queen”, “white trash”, “ghetto”, “crackheads.”
…and the ones who swell with pride thinking of their hood, n got a big head and a big attitude bc they know they’re 20x better than a sheltered rich bitch any day.
The bad-ass hood dykes who took every stereotype and embraced it, who became the biggest, baddest, criminal, run-this-town, violent bitches bc the hood was their lifeblood, not something to escape n “move up” from.
…and the dorky awkward hood dykes who laid hella low n did all the “gifted poor kid” programs n were always real polite to the teacher, dreaming of the day when they’d escape the hood n move to Manhattan or the Bay Area or sumwhere and find “the queer community.”
…only to finally get there n realize that they’ve now lost themselves n their history, and all that was most beautiful in their lives—n there ain’t even any ability to go back after 16yrs of the socialization-into-the-middle-class that is an academic education.
“Run away with me/ to another place/We can rely on each other, uh ooh/From one corner to another, oh ooh”
THERE AINT NO GODDAMN REASON ANYONE ELSE BE ON THE INTERNET RITE NOW, GIRL-ASSASSIN HAS ENDED IT
FOR THIS IS THE TRUEST TRUTH
PRAISE TO GIRL-ASSASSIN AND ALL THE REST US HOOD-ASS DYKES
idunno if i can claim hood status but that last part about poor but gifted kids and all that we lose? that shirt felt like a damn knife to the chest.
Ok, this is absolutely the last Gangnam render!
Requested by Rinienne, Sheploo and Kaidan.
Omg, this series of stock photos.
WELCOME TO FEMSLASH FEBRUARY.
Keep It Gay, as performed during the Chicago tryout
Betrayed - Nathan Lane, from the Chicago tryout
Theprettynerdie is writing a story about us in the Zombie Apocalypse so I made this for her, even colored the beetle yellow so its like hers.
“god made adam and eve not adam and steve”
because obviously the people who (according to the story) betrayed god and condemned all of humanity to sin were great role models
“Come on, baby…”