tagged → #goddammit #feels

i had a dream about actually being able to hold my girlfriend and kiss her

just for a moment before my dream reset itself because, in my dreams, i don’t ever get what i want, it is always just out of reach

last night’s dream was painful because i HAD MY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT THERE but lost her

and fuck

i just want to be able to hold her and at least know what her skin feels like 

to see and feel her through more than the pixels of a computer screen

i cant

hitsuyo:

Inuyasha: You should've listened. I told you never to return!
Kagome: I couldn't help it! I just wanted to see you!
Inuyasha: Wanted... to see... me?

ugh this whole episode HURT MY HEART

tagged → #FEELS #anime

thinking about the fault in our stars and out of nowhere started crying

goddammit john green!

tagged → #i am sad #john green #books #:( #FEELS

I’m just so in love with you I don’t know how this is all real.

thetricia replied to your post: I want to cry right now because I just love my…

asdklfjdsklfmdk,lvm ksdlos you’re sO CUTE. You/your girlfriend are quickly becoming my OTP. :D

ASDFGHJKL;LKL.,KJMFNBDVSBNHTMNRBG OMG THANK YOU

Can’t even begin to tell you just how much I love her. She is just … ugh. Amazing. I wake up to a message from her every morning, and I get up earlier and earlier just to see that message. I go to bed knowing I will have that message from her to look forward to.

And I get to remind her every minute of every day just how much I love her, and just how much my life has been given so much more meaning since she came into it.

I am the luckiest person on earth right now. She is my everything <3

mandyshepard: theprettynerdie: mandyshepard: WIFEY’S NIGHT OUT! For my amazing wifey’s mercy-shepard and theprettynerdie! You two have been really great and so sweet given everything that has been going on on my life at the moment. I love you both so very much. Mandy, you really are like a sister to me. I grew up as an only child, so having you to talk and laugh with has made my life so much brighter. The only thing I really wish right now is to be able to give you a real hug - which of course I can’t because of geography/Satan. I love you with all my heart Mandy. You’re the best wifey I could ever ask for, and I am proud to call you one of my very best friends in the world. You and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend have made my year, and my life, so much brighter. I have high hopes for the future now, because you and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend entered my life. I cannot even put into words how much I value your friendships, each and every one of you. I haven’t had the best of luck with friends over the years, but my connections to you have been more real and wonderful than anything. I feel real, genuine friendship from you all, and I finally understand and feel the silly cliches about love and sisterhood and all that. My life has taken on new meaning now. thank you thank you thank you. My beautiful little wifey, I feel exactly the same! My life is so much better and richer with you in it and yes fucking geography is a total killer but it doesn’t stop me loving the holy hell out of you!  You really have kept me going the last few days and the fact that you keep checking in and made me a special album… makes me feel so loved its untrue. I wish I had known you 18 months ago when I last went through this, but at least this time I don’t feel so alone. I love you like Santa loves milk and cookies. Merry Christmas baby!! xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Oh hun, that makes me so happy to hear!! You feel loved cause you have it from me! I just wanna make sure I can help you get through this very difficult holiday season and come back stronger and happier than before. I am here anytime you need me, and even a bit more than that. I love ya with all my heart bby! Just the fact that you feel the same way about our friendship fills me with joy. Happy Christmas wifey &lt;3

mandyshepard:

theprettynerdie:

mandyshepard:

WIFEY’S NIGHT OUT!

For my amazing wifey’s mercy-shepard and theprettynerdie!

You two have been really great and so sweet given everything that has been going on on my life at the moment.

I love you both so very much.

Mandy, you really are like a sister to me. I grew up as an only child, so having you to talk and laugh with has made my life so much brighter. The only thing I really wish right now is to be able to give you a real hug - which of course I can’t because of geography/Satan.

I love you with all my heart Mandy. You’re the best wifey I could ever ask for, and I am proud to call you one of my very best friends in the world. You and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend have made my year, and my life, so much brighter. I have high hopes for the future now, because you and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend entered my life. I cannot even put into words how much I value your friendships, each and every one of you. I haven’t had the best of luck with friends over the years, but my connections to you have been more real and wonderful than anything. I feel real, genuine friendship from you all, and I finally understand and feel the silly cliches about love and sisterhood and all that.

My life has taken on new meaning now. thank you thank you thank you.

My beautiful little wifey, I feel exactly the same! My life is so much better and richer with you in it and yes fucking geography is a total killer but it doesn’t stop me loving the holy hell out of you! 

You really have kept me going the last few days and the fact that you keep checking in and made me a special album… makes me feel so loved its untrue.

I wish I had known you 18 months ago when I last went through this, but at least this time I don’t feel so alone.

I love you like Santa loves milk and cookies. Merry Christmas baby!!

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Oh hun, that makes me so happy to hear!! You feel loved cause you have it from me! I just wanna make sure I can help you get through this very difficult holiday season and come back stronger and happier than before.

I am here anytime you need me, and even a bit more than that. I love ya with all my heart bby! Just the fact that you feel the same way about our friendship fills me with joy. Happy Christmas wifey <3

This is the best Christmas ever.

Read More

tagged → #Christmas! #feels #personal
mandyshepard: WIFEY’S NIGHT OUT! For my amazing wifey’s mercy-shepard and theprettynerdie! You two have been really great and so sweet given everything that has been going on on my life at the moment. I love you both so very much. Mandy, you really are like a sister to me. I grew up as an only child, so having you to talk and laugh with has made my life so much brighter. The only thing I really wish right now is to be able to give you a real hug - which of course I can&#8217;t because of geography/Satan. I love you with all my heart Mandy. You&#8217;re the best wifey I could ever ask for, and I am proud to call you one of my very best friends in the world. You and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend have made my year, and my life, so much brighter. I have high hopes for the future now, because you and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend entered my life. I cannot even put into words how much I value your friendships, each and every one of you. I haven&#8217;t had the best of luck with friends over the years, but my connections to you have been more real and wonderful than anything. I feel real, genuine friendship from you all, and I finally understand and feel the silly cliches about love and sisterhood and all that. My life has taken on new meaning now. thank you thank you thank you.

mandyshepard:

WIFEY’S NIGHT OUT!

For my amazing wifey’s mercy-shepard and theprettynerdie!

You two have been really great and so sweet given everything that has been going on on my life at the moment.

I love you both so very much.

Mandy, you really are like a sister to me. I grew up as an only child, so having you to talk and laugh with has made my life so much brighter. The only thing I really wish right now is to be able to give you a real hug - which of course I can’t because of geography/Satan.

I love you with all my heart Mandy. You’re the best wifey I could ever ask for, and I am proud to call you one of my very best friends in the world. You and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend have made my year, and my life, so much brighter. I have high hopes for the future now, because you and Mercy and Claire and my girlfriend entered my life. I cannot even put into words how much I value your friendships, each and every one of you. I haven’t had the best of luck with friends over the years, but my connections to you have been more real and wonderful than anything. I feel real, genuine friendship from you all, and I finally understand and feel the silly cliches about love and sisterhood and all that.

My life has taken on new meaning now. thank you thank you thank you.

freckles04: mrsalenko: freckles04: theladyjess: freckles04: cellorocket: Every now and then I’ll look at a ME1 screenshot of Kaidan, and it always hits me how much younger he looks here. He’s 32, but he doesn’t look it. But three years later and the years really show on him. I think it’s a visual representation of the change in his “mental” age. In ME1, he seems really young, naive, idealistic, just starting out. By ME3, when he says he’s a better soldier, he means not just biotically. He’s realized what it means to be a soldier, I think, and that it’s not always about having integrity but making the hard decisions—which makes it all the more important to hold onto your integrity as tightly as you can. I agree with Freckles here. Now, I know in the U.S. Army, an LT is essentially the equivalent of a Private. The only difference is one is enlisted the other is a commissioned Officer. So our LT’s and Pvts are starting on the same base experience most of the time. They have to get through the early years of expecting one thing and getting something else, getting their feet wet, that kind of thing. And that’s Kaidan in ME1. in Me2, he’s settled in, he knows his role, and his job. He has the experience now to build his confidence as a leader, and to back up his beliefs.  By ME3, He’s GOT this. He is a leader, he’s been there, done that, and it shows.  Keep in mind, though, in ME1, he’s 32 and a lieutenant, and has been in the Alliance for 11 years. He might have worked his way up from private in that time, but I sort of like the idea that he started out as a 2nd Lieutenant and was a Staff Lieutenant in ME1. Though he has commendations on his file, he does mention that he always held back a bit, and I think that would show in his service. But after Shepard’s death—between 2183 and 2186—he’s promoted THREE times. Lt. Commander, Staff Commander (by 2185), then Major in 2186. That is hugely significant in my mind. It shows how he threw himself into his work (to escape, obviously) but it also proves that he was a better soldier than when he served with her, because he wouldn’t have gotten the promotions otherwise. I like this commentary and I like Freckles idea (correct me if I’m interpreting wrong) that he kind of grows aside from Shepard, you know? In those years she is gone. On Mars, man he’s so in control, it’s staggering. Even Shepard and Liara perk up at it. And I don’t even want to say it’s ALL due to Shepard. She didn’t exactly mentor him in ME1 like you could say she did for Garrus. In fact in my convos with him, he is the one giving her…political advice I guess. And the only sort of encouragement that she gives him is to do with his personal problems, to do with BAAT and lets him vent in that way.  I think he worked damn hard after she died. I think he took what he had saw with her and really applied himself because he knew what was out there waiting. I think he stopped being afraid of what he could do because of her. Also I think I might have read somewhere that it’s canon he was a Staff Lieutenant and also I know it’s canon he was the head of the marine detail on the Normandy. So he would have some command experience there. Also (not my idea but a clever little bee friend) there may have been the slight suggestion that the fact that he is an L2 biotic with the stigma associated with, insanity  metal disabilities  pain, not to mention biotics in general may have put a lid on his career a little. There is still massive discrimination in the ME verse, in normal civilian life for biotics (Enough so that the majority choose to enlist, for the massive incentives.) and we don’t actually know very much how that manifests in the Alliance ranks. Sure, they welcome them with open arms, but do they let them progress up the ranks? Would their be accuasations if an obstenibly ‘advanced mutant human’ is promted over someone with biiotics, who can’t make things float? Jesus, look at work politics even today considering, race, sex, orientation or age. MANIPULATING GRAVITY? wow that’s gonna rustle some jimmies. So there’s also that where it comes to his rank in ME1. Maybe he proved himself to the brass with the Saren business that he COULD handle it. That biotics were capable and he deserved to command. Who’s a higher ranked biotic soldier than him? Where’s the biotic admirals? I dunno, just thinking aloud. This is great commentary (sorry for hijacking your post, Cello, I hope it’s okay!). These are really good points, MrsAlenko. That’s one of the things I would really love to see explored more in future Mass Effect installments, the attitudes of non-Alliance humans toward human biotics. We’re told human biotics are discriminated against, but we don’t see it, so there’s a bit of a disconnect there in my head. But I think what you’ve said is absolutely plausible, that the Alliance is basically using Kaidan as an L2 tool but they don’t want to give him too much power because he is an L2. And yes, you’re absolutely dead-on in interpreting what I said: Kaidan grows without Shepard. I think he learns from Shepard, particularly about making the hard decisions and doing what needs to be done, but it’s not the same sort of mentoring Shepard does for Garrus, no; it’s Kaidan learning from his superiors and incorporating that knowledge into his own work, which is basically what you’re supposed to do in the military (afaik). So yeah, taking those lessons from Shepard, throwing himself into his work, and proving that, L2 or not, he’s a hell of a soldier, is what gets him from the good soldier in ME1 to the great officer in ME3.

freckles04:

mrsalenko:

freckles04:

theladyjess:

freckles04:

cellorocket:

Every now and then I’ll look at a ME1 screenshot of Kaidan, and it always hits me how much younger he looks here. He’s 32, but he doesn’t look it. But three years later and the years really show on him.

I think it’s a visual representation of the change in his “mental” age. In ME1, he seems really young, naive, idealistic, just starting out. By ME3, when he says he’s a better soldier, he means not just biotically. He’s realized what it means to be a soldier, I think, and that it’s not always about having integrity but making the hard decisions—which makes it all the more important to hold onto your integrity as tightly as you can.

I agree with Freckles here. Now, I know in the U.S. Army, an LT is essentially the equivalent of a Private. The only difference is one is enlisted the other is a commissioned Officer. So our LT’s and Pvts are starting on the same base experience most of the time. They have to get through the early years of expecting one thing and getting something else, getting their feet wet, that kind of thing. And that’s Kaidan in ME1.

in Me2, he’s settled in, he knows his role, and his job. He has the experience now to build his confidence as a leader, and to back up his beliefs. 

By ME3, He’s GOT this. He is a leader, he’s been there, done that, and it shows. 

Keep in mind, though, in ME1, he’s 32 and a lieutenant, and has been in the Alliance for 11 years. He might have worked his way up from private in that time, but I sort of like the idea that he started out as a 2nd Lieutenant and was a Staff Lieutenant in ME1. Though he has commendations on his file, he does mention that he always held back a bit, and I think that would show in his service.

But after Shepard’s death—between 2183 and 2186—he’s promoted THREE times. Lt. Commander, Staff Commander (by 2185), then Major in 2186. That is hugely significant in my mind. It shows how he threw himself into his work (to escape, obviously) but it also proves that he was a better soldier than when he served with her, because he wouldn’t have gotten the promotions otherwise.

I like this commentary and I like Freckles idea (correct me if I’m interpreting wrong) that he kind of grows aside from Shepard, you know? In those years she is gone. On Mars, man he’s so in control, it’s staggering. Even Shepard and Liara perk up at it. And I don’t even want to say it’s ALL due to Shepard. She didn’t exactly mentor him in ME1 like you could say she did for Garrus. In fact in my convos with him, he is the one giving her…political advice I guess. And the only sort of encouragement that she gives him is to do with his personal problems, to do with BAAT and lets him vent in that way. 

I think he worked damn hard after she died. I think he took what he had saw with her and really applied himself because he knew what was out there waiting. I think he stopped being afraid of what he could do because of her.

Also I think I might have read somewhere that it’s canon he was a Staff Lieutenant and also I know it’s canon he was the head of the marine detail on the Normandy. So he would have some command experience there. Also (not my idea but a clever little bee friend) there may have been the slight suggestion that the fact that he is an L2 biotic with the stigma associated with, insanity  metal disabilities  pain, not to mention biotics in general may have put a lid on his career a little.

There is still massive discrimination in the ME verse, in normal civilian life for biotics (Enough so that the majority choose to enlist, for the massive incentives.) and we don’t actually know very much how that manifests in the Alliance ranks. Sure, they welcome them with open arms, but do they let them progress up the ranks? Would their be accuasations if an obstenibly ‘advanced mutant human’ is promted over someone with biiotics, who can’t make things float? Jesus, look at work politics even today considering, race, sex, orientation or age. MANIPULATING GRAVITY? wow that’s gonna rustle some jimmies.

So there’s also that where it comes to his rank in ME1. Maybe he proved himself to the brass with the Saren business that he COULD handle it. That biotics were capable and he deserved to command. Who’s a higher ranked biotic soldier than him? Where’s the biotic admirals?

I dunno, just thinking aloud.

This is great commentary (sorry for hijacking your post, Cello, I hope it’s okay!).

These are really good points, MrsAlenko. That’s one of the things I would really love to see explored more in future Mass Effect installments, the attitudes of non-Alliance humans toward human biotics. We’re told human biotics are discriminated against, but we don’t see it, so there’s a bit of a disconnect there in my head.

But I think what you’ve said is absolutely plausible, that the Alliance is basically using Kaidan as an L2 tool but they don’t want to give him too much power because he is an L2.

And yes, you’re absolutely dead-on in interpreting what I said: Kaidan grows without Shepard. I think he learns from Shepard, particularly about making the hard decisions and doing what needs to be done, but it’s not the same sort of mentoring Shepard does for Garrus, no; it’s Kaidan learning from his superiors and incorporating that knowledge into his own work, which is basically what you’re supposed to do in the military (afaik).

So yeah, taking those lessons from Shepard, throwing himself into his work, and proving that, L2 or not, he’s a hell of a soldier, is what gets him from the good soldier in ME1 to the great officer in ME3.

jauffre:

sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes shepard dies

tagged → #SHUT UP #Mass Effect #FEELS